I love knowledge, and as I write this, ai am wondering about my next course of action. There is news of retrenchment in my workplace and I am wondering if it is going to be me. Am not young anymore, and I certainly do not feel young. I don’t feel motivated and I feel quite dead inside. But once in a while, I find myself feeling alive again, and wanting to acquire more knowledge and visit more places.
Once again, I am at the Chapel. It is just a habit of mine. I feel I am a sinner and I just feel so inadequate. With news of retrenchment, I am pondering what to do, where to go. How will I support my children and pay for all the debts that are around me? It seems futile. One thing is certain, I cannot be an ostrich and pretend nothing is happening. There need to be a course of action and I need to find a solution within the next few days and months.
My visit is more like collecting my thoughts and giving them to God. I feel tired. There seems to be puzzles everywhere and yet I know everything will fall into place. Yesterday I found that God has known the course of my life from A to Z. So I am not worried. There is a plan for me and the children.