It is not easy to specialise in kindness all the time. Particularly when you feel like you have been wronged. In any case, it seems as if I was listening to God’s message today as I listened to the homily shared by the priest’s from the Philippines. He spoke about humility and giving way to other people when both are in each others’ path. I am pondering about his words and realise how much it resembles the situation I have gone through. I didn’t expect it really — because I’ve known this person for years since we were both working in the same field. But perhaps it is wrong for me to say that I know a person just because I met them once or twice a year. It would be better to address them as merely acquaintances rather than as friends. Since, friends are people you know. I guess I hardly knew this person. Just both of us knowing each others name does not make us friends.
Anyway, it is the first time we actually worked together. I have never met a person who refuses to give way to other people at all cost. Whenever I have to contact her, it feels like the most unpleasant experience. And when she says, lets share ideas, it really doesn’t mean that at all.
When the priest spoke of giving way, I never thought of it as relating to my unpleasant experience. Now that I pondered about it deeply, I guess in a way God was speaking to me, and telling me outright that some people really are not humble and will be like a huge stone in the middle of the road that will not budge unless a bulldozer carried it off.
No wonder I felt so angry. But I tried to keep my cool. Of course, in the end, I had to tell the person in charge I won’t be able to work with such a person. What is there to work with anyway? I cannot even walk pass this huge obstacle that refuses any way unless it is her way. If that is the case, then it is better she does all the work herself.
her I guess I didn’t really know this person otherwise, I would have avoided
when el like a hypocrite right now because as I am typing this, kindness is the furthest from my mind. As a matter of fact, I feel angry because I think I feel manipulated. When long time friends stab you from behind, being kind is not in the agenda. Although I am not thinking of renegading, I know I have lost these friends and the things that goes in my mind is just this: good riddance.
Still, there are things that have happened throughout the day that made me realise that there are still some positive things occurring throughout the day.
I started the day with attending an online mass broadcasted live all the way from the Philippines. The subject is specialising in kindness. This was the priest’s pleas to everyone listening. His talk was so interesting, I resorted to writing them down. In spite of the anger I feel inside, deep down, I know I don’t want a tooth for a tooth.
So what about kindness?