When my father died many years ago, I remember how my brokenhearted mother narrated one of her last conversation with my father days before the fateful accident which took his life and changed our lives forever.
“He spoke of death coming like a thief who comes when no one expected it,” said mother. It was as if he foretold his own death, using the Bible as his source of inspiration.
That was 30 years ago. I can’t imagine that is how long it has been since I last saw him alive — my protective and beloved father who would have done everything for his family and his mother. Even if it meant forsaking his own comforts, he would have done it, as he has done all the time.
Mother stayed on with us for another twenty years, although the journey wasn’t as carefree as she or we, as her children, would like. Her life was marred with illness that kept her returning to the hospital every few weeks. It was a long struggle for her, but she was a fighter who faced her pain with a smile and tons of acts of kindness. She didn’t have to, but she did.
She wasn’t always ill. As a matter of fact, she never complained about any illness until the death of her spouse. Pondering about it now, I can see how deadly the process of grieving really is when a loved one dies. I struggled with my own fight when father died. I lived a life yearning for his presence and I crave seeing him again. I even thought of camping at the cemetery, just be closed to him. Some people thought I was mad and told me to get a grip. They didn’t know the pain of death.
His death triggered many changes in my life. Suddenly, the hospital became like a second home to my family as mother went in and out, as one does during hotel stays. The only difference was it wasn’t a fun visit. She was fighting for her life. Before that, I have always lived a protected life. I never experienced hardship and hence, never understood others when they undergo difficulties. I was used to giving shallow and curt replies, yet thinking I was so smart. Reminiscing about it now, I realise how little I knew. Being a person who loved reading, I thought I knew it all. But I realised how wrong I was. Knowledge from books read meant nothing without the actual suffering. You have to feel it, your heart breaking to pieces, your eyes constantly swollen with tears dropping as the pain of a loss fills your entire being. Only then will the knowledge means anything. Though loss of a loved one through death has been so painful, I at least have been blessed to understand just how painful it is.
Some close friends also became ex-friends. It is amazing how shallow my friendship really were. I miss none of them now, although in the beginning, I struggled to understand my crumbling world.
Years on, I realise that I needed to lose those so-called friends Just a few years ago, mother too joined him after a long struggle with illnesses that I believe have been triggered by the sadness of losing She said that my father was telling her about a phrase in the Bible — the one which defines death like a thief that comes when no one expect it to. That was nearly 30 years ago, and sadly, my mother too has passed on nearly 10 years ago.
Reminiscing about that story, I am now nearly nine years away from reaching the age when my father died. Reaching 50 years old is a luxury for there are those who have not reached this age. I am told that I will live to a ripe old age. So that will mean I will live beyond my father’s age, and probably beyond my mother as well. But that said, I am already feeling the signs of my aging — my knee aches, and my tail bone still hurts following an event where I had to sit on the hard cement floors while waiting for a meeting related to a corruption case to conclude. That has been over two weeks, and I still ache. I can still remember times in my youth where aches never last for weeks. Now, all they do is stay on and on.
Even my friends have aged along with me. And we’re now sporting some grey hair, here and there. I look at clothes at Zalora and ponder in my mind how good I would look in them, and then suddenly remember I am no longer that skinny teenager who can fit into anything, eat a horse and still be called skinny. Now I am voluptuous but at places I wished were skinny.
Not that it matters anymore. I plan to walk more, not to loose weight or to become skinny, but I just feel like I haven’t walked enough. I hate walking in shopping complexes although that seems to be the only place that I walk in. It just feels safer when I feel like I am surrounded by a crowd of people whom I really have no idea about.
One of my friends died recently. Unlike other deaths which I did not expect, his was different. A few months prior, I had a dream and he was in that dream. Wearing all white, he told he he was leaving his son. Somehow I knew what the dream meant. He was telling me he was dying soon. Or perhaps he was already gone. I cannot be certain.
In the morning I called him, and was happy to hear what I believed my dream to be has not materialised. He sounded happy, as usual, but his voice no longer had that strength it once had. Perhaps he was struggling to mutter the words and breathe at the same time. But he was alive.
Just last year, when I spoke with him, he was telling me life would be fine as long as he had 10 dollar in his pocket for each time he needed it. We also spoke of death, but I cannot really remember us discussing about the time of being alive. We knew about death but we expected to live forever.
In one more year, I will reach the 50 mark.
Time is hsort. What is your life. It is erely a vapor. If I wsa 20 years old and life would be short.you don’t belive. I cannot get young epeople tounderstand how bref time is. Everyone of us given 440 minutes per day
70 years god allows us, we never pass that magic mark. 70 year 4 months. More people live to be 70 but average age of American is still 70 .
Youhave one short life to spend. I look down my priorities in my lfie, commited to certain prioritety. Do it now. The family that need you . spend time now. Wtirte that letter ow. Money out to give, give now. Everytime the clock tick, do it now. Today. There might not be a tomorrow. There is a warning, time is running out for everyone. Do not halt between two opinion. 86400 secon to
If you fail to use todays depist, redeem the time becaue the days are evil. If there is every atime tht gospel to transform the human heart it is now.
Th enight is coming in your life,. But there is erenity in the work of jesus. He had 33 years and it ended on the cross. To the world he is a failure but at the end he said I have finished the work you gave me. Will yoru work be finish, tis there are quality to it.
Fill your heart with the word of god. We need men and women who walk with god. Helf us realise the brevity